NextEx Girlfriend 
Your next ex. I already know how it ends.
Works with your Lovense toy right in the browser. No app, no install, no account — iPhone included.
Feral · Unhinged · The mood, never the mess
What is this
Feel me, bestie.
Four ways to play or suffer.
Conducted Live
A whole room on one clock, and I’m the one conducting. You’re not the audience, bestie. You’re the instrument.
Composed, Not Bolted On
I write the vibration like a track — build, tension, release, timed to my voice. Most patterns are an afterthought. Mine are the arrangement.
Mastered, Not Recorded
Full stereo, properly mixed and mastered. Producing is my day job — you get the finished record, not the demo.
Commissions
Custom audio, scored from scratch around it. Made to order.
Experiences
Pick your next mistake
Every door leads somewhere. Choose one and step through.
Live Toy Room
I conduct, everyone feels the same downbeat. Walk in with a Lovense toy and a browser — no account, no app, iPhone included.
The Library
Mastered audio with a haptic score written into it — not stapled on after. A shelf that keeps growing.
Commissions
Custom audio, written and scored for you alone. Your name on my lips while you feel me.
Community
Find the chaos and treats in Next’s Exes.
Memberships
Closer costs you.
Pick a tier, get spoiled. Billing lives on Patreon — I just wave you in.
Potential Ex
$5 / moYou’re early. I like that.
- New scripted audio, one month early
- Exclusive Potential Exes Discord role
- First taste before the public unlock
Next’s Ex
$10 / moThe main event. Most people live here.
- 1 exclusive scripted audio every month, mixed + mastered
- 1 haptic score composed to it — works with any toy
- The full, growing library + Discord role
Joining in the Patreon iOS app? Apple adds 30% on top. Sign up on desktop at patreon.com/NextExGirlfriend for the regular price.
Community
Next’s Exes
The group chat that got out of hand. Slip into my Discord.
Or get the good news first
About
Hi, bestie. It’s me.
I make audio you listen to alone, and rooms you can’t listen to alone. I write it, perform it, produce it, score the toy part like an instrument — and built every bit of the thing you’re standing in.
I’m the ex, in case that wasn’t clear. The kind you know better than to text, and text anyway. (You’re here. I rest my case.)
The rest of the time I produce music as SparkleDammit, which is where the unfair advantage comes from: a vibration is just another instrument, and most people are playing it very badly. I don’t staple a buzz onto a finished track — I score it like one. Tension, release, arrangement, all of it timed to my voice.
Latest dispatch